InBetween Breaths

I'm not the type that likes to laugh at the misery of others but this person is an exception.

adapted from soccernet today

Just look at how miserable he is. Doesn't that make you wanna laugh your socks off?! This really made my day! I quote the TNP today, "We didn't lose the game. Ninety minutes was a draw and it was a draw after two hours. We lost on penalties. We were the best team on the pitch. Their goal was a big mistake. But I want to give my congratualations to them because they won. But we were the best team."

I guess he still thinks he's the special one. For someone who promised to sew up the premiership by January and win a quadruple of trophies, I guess being dumped out of one of the four competition is really hard to stomach. That explains the constipated look. Well, I guess we can't blame him for that......because he is the special one and he has the best team, even when they lose.....

For the benefit of non-soccer fanatics, Chelsea, an English football club, lost in a soccer match yesterday which they were expected to win. The result was that they were knocked out of the competition called the English Carling Cup. This man happens to be the manager of that club. Damn, I wonder why I'm explaining all this... you'll probably not understand or ain't interested anyway. Ok, never mind, just look at the picture and laugh along...nobody will know anyway......

Do you sometimes have passengers in your car that have itchy hands or just can’t stand what you are listening to while on the road? They just have to mess with your car’s radio or simply complain about you listening to crap radio stations? Acquaintances are fine because they don’t complain that much (or they don't dare to complain..haha..), but if you have a friend who just likes to be ‘cool’, ‘hip’ and equipped with that stylish but totally unnecessary slang ….that’s when all the trouble begins.

Ever since the CD player in the car decided to fail me, the only entertainment which prevents me from falling asleep while driving and smashing into a lamppost or whatsoever, is the tuner which never fails. And I realize this is always the case regardless of how sophisticated or antique your radio/hi-fi/mini-combo is.

I have this hi-fi player which is really just sitting there accumulating dust and counting the days left before it finds its destiny at the end of the rubbish chute. It has aged tremendously, it can’t play CDs anymore, it used to be able to take 3 at a time when it was at its prime, but I guess age caught up with him. Then, the cassette tape player decided to quit, too. Instead of playing them, it starts getting real pissed off with god-knows-what, and decides to chew on the cassette every time I slot one in. Sometimes it does such a bad job that it gets tape stuck between the teeth and I had to sacrifice my beloved tunes by slashing the tape to remove all the remains. Perhaps, all the high-speed dubbing I did while making copies was too much for him to take… Yet, the only trump card that is keeping this hi-fi in its position is the tuner function which never seems to fail. But this is a really, I mean really, really BIG FM receiver, considering I have another which can fit nicely in my palm.

Anyway, so now that I only have my tuner to accompany me on those lonely journeys, I tune in to 93.3. Yes, I’m very cina, in case you are wondering……your job is to read, so just read……I really can’t understand why there are so many English speaking people in this school, man. There are so many of them that sometimes it makes you feel weird to feel Chinese and wanting to be Chinese. Maybe I’m mixing with the wrong people who can’t give me some Chinese warmth. So if there are some miserable Chinese souls out there in school, maybe we can form a gang and start speaking mandarin loudly and parading around the school compound. Just to remind the 70% of the population that they are also yellow in colour and they can stop pretending to be white. You will still be yellow regardless of how much SK2 skin whitening cream you use.

Ok, perhaps I’m getting a little racist here. To my English speaking friends, I apologise, its not that I don’t like you or what. Just that I thought if you are Chinese, you hope to act like Chinese on some days just to feel Chinese for a while. I’m still fine with English though, it’s just that the English tunes don’t appeal to me. Thus, can I just stick to YES93.3? So the next time you want a lift from me, no matter you are white, brown, black or whitish-yellow, please be prepared for some hardcore Chinese numbers because my radio is 100% made in China!

Have you ever wondered about traveling through time and all the ridiculous things that you can do while you are there? Like maybe go back to find the culprit who stole your handphone, to buy a 4D past results guidebook or just to change one thing or another so that your life today will be better. I was also a dreamer of such fantasies until this statement I had read two years back got me rethinking about this amazing idea. Bearing in mind I’m no sci-fi geek, kindly excuse my ignorance if you are an expert in this subject.

Man will never be able to travel through time, if we could, they would have been here by now. This is the exact sentence that got me pondering. Yah man, of course we will never invent a time machine. I would have seen a 60 year old me by now. Or maybe my great grandson might decide to pay me a visit one of these days.

One of my first thoughts about time travel was imagining the globe spinning, at 24 hours a day. If we can somehow travel faster than that around Earth in the opposite direction, wouldn’t we be able to reach yesterday? But after giving it a deeper thought, perhaps not, because while you are traveling, time still ticks on, you will probably just waste your time dashing around the globe. But it sounded logical to me before though.

Then, a friend of mine introduced this concept to me. We are all trapped in the mindset that there is only one timeline. There are probably many, many different timelines. When someone travel back in time and changes something, we will all skip to a different timeline without knowing, but the truth is things have changed from before. It’s just that we are all unaware of it.

Now, I will like to improve on that concept, I’m sure all of us remember The Matrix, the movie with all the slow motion fight scenes?? Well, that’s not the important part. We all know that when the matrix has a glitch, we experience a déjà vu. But, how about this, when someone goes back in time and changes something, the affected people all experiences a déjà vu. And they are all sent to a different timeline, or to a different destiny just by that instance when you found something very familiar, your brain is being modified for your new destiny. So the next time you experience a déjà vu, congratulations, you might just have a change of fortune! All thanks to our future time travelers!

Recently, I just thought of this absurd theory and it keeps bugging me. Perhaps it’s still a bit coarse, but who cares. It seems like guys our age are pretty different from when we were younger. We still like girls but now it seems like in our mind, there are 2 types of girls. Unlike in our younger days, girls are just girls. They all are one entity, tall, short, thin, fat, whatever…Now, this post will get a little offensive, especially to the gentler sex. Please take all these light heartedly and no offence.

Nowadays, there is a line which we draw when we look at a girl. They are wife-material or fling-material. I didn’t mean to let this cat out of the bag, guys, but I think the girls deserve to know this. Moreover, I think they are also using the same judgments against us, too. Ok, before you start bringing out your parangs and shouting “bullshit!” Let us just assume that I am the only one to think this way, now just calm down and read on.

When we look at a girl at first impression, we will immediately have a judgment about you, if you are pretty, most likely you will fall under the fling category in the first instance. But after getting to know you better, you might get upgraded to the premium wife category. If you ugly, ok that sounds a bit bad and distasteful, I apologise. If you are not so physically attractive, I have good news for you! You will not be judged in the first place and will probably be placed under “Others”. But there is better news, after getting to know you better, there is still a chance to be promoted to the wife material category!

To be honest, I really feel that where it comes to choosing the one who you will spend the rest of your life with, looks automatically becomes second in line. At least I will hope to find someone who understands me and knows me inside-out and we can live together like peas and carrots. (I wonder why Forrest Gump came up with this term, I thought peas and carrots usually include corn as well. So what’s the corn? Third party? Child? Or they don’t have corn back in Alabama? Ok, I hope this is not too corny for your liking..haha) Anyway, the one true love that you can spend the rest of life with probably don’t need to be Miss Universe. Of course, if you can have love and still get beauty as well. Good for you, you lucky bas***d!

So now, for the most shocking and revealing part that you will not want to miss. Guys being guys, there are a few types of us as well. In fact, probably gals have the same types as well. Let me just introduce a few of the different kinds.

First, there are the players, they are always actively looking out for girls, and they sieve out ugly girls. They just want the flings. It just meant that they are not ready to settle down. Or so they claimed… I will think that they just want to have fun and get wild while they can. This is probably suicidal for me, but some of them do have a motive of humping you right from the beginning. Don’t be surprised. If you are in the game, too, then fine. But I really pity those who get hurt unnecessarily when they go all out in a relationship only to realize it’s all but a dream.

Then, there are those who are seekers who are really interested to find the one true love. They do not want flings and uncommitted girls. They hope to find a wife not a girlfriend. Some have been hurt in the process and the girls just says, “You try too hard, I need some space to breath a little” Then, when the space is given, a week later, Mr X comes along and fills it up. Then, the next thing she says is, “I think you are not the one for me.” Then, a few months later, she comes back and begs for you to go back to her. I mean, this is pretty common for guys and gals. But, it just totally rubbish to me. In this case, the girl is probably just a player. So maybe, she should just go mix around with the players and leave the seekers alone. I think seekers usually get hurt and that’s pretty unfair but nothing can be done.

There are also player who are transforming into seekers. Well, I guess everyone hopes to settles down some day. But the problem is, the change is not immediate and can be really hard. I mean, if you are a player and you are used to having fun and all, then suddenly, this great wife-material girl comes along and you feel like, OK, this is it. This is the one who will end it all. But as you get along, suddenly, the itch will just come. It will just start tickling you at first and then harder and harder the more you resist it. You just hope that you can play for one last time. Just one more will do. But on the other hand, you know this is the wife-material one and you can’t just let her go and move on. You need to do something badly and two-timing is just not your style. Then suddenly you have this crazy thought, hoping that you can keep this wife material girl in a fridge and keep her inside and you can go and have all the fun. Then when it’s dinnertime, you can just bring it out, heat it up a little and its ready to serve. That, my friend, will always remain a dream. At least it’s a sweet dream.  

Lastly, there are seekers transforming into players. This is one weird scenario but it does happen. And guess whose fault is it again? Yes, it’s the players! They come around and play with your feelings and then dump you aside when their done. So, you decide, why be the good guy, I want to be the bad guy. I want to play, not played. Then, it all happens, within an instance.
  
Well, I believe there are many people who are straying between the lines of seekers and players, they just don’t know what they want and are constantly testing out and see how it goes. Ultimately, I guess finding the one true love will never be easy. “I love you” is a real easy thing to say, especially if it leads to sex. The real essence of loving someone cannot be represented by words alone, its needs to be backed by commitment. I’m sure all the seekers out there will agree with me. So to all the players, the next time you want use this three words, please mean what you say. If you want to lie, please don’t stop lying cause it hurts. It really does.  

I should be doing my work now. My to-do list has never been longer since term started. Or perhaps I have just been lazing too much. Whatever the case, I guess this is what I felt like doing right now, even if it meant that I am going to waste more of my already limited time.

The time now is 11.39 pm, and I guess I will be 23 by the time I’m finished with this entry. Birthdays used to be exciting and interesting, with lots of colours and fun and a whole load of friends and relatives singing you a birthday song. But as time goes by, I felt that that sort of birthdays are fading away from my life. Yet, it didn’t seem to matter to me. I seriously don’t mind not having birthday parties or having no presents for my birthday. Because after all the fun and joy is over, I will still be me, nothing has changed from yesterday.

I believe that growing up is a continual process, you got to slowly learn about life as you grow old. Birthdays are just a marker for the turn of a year since you were born. The true birthdays are the days in your life where you learn something about yourself.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like to be cared about. I bet everyone hopes to be cared by the people around them. So if you see me today and happen to know that it's my birthday, do say “Happy Birthday” to me, I hope to be cared by you. But save the money and the effort to buy presents and stuff, because it is not really important. Why waste the money on something that I might not like. Sometimes, even the one whom I love gets it wrong. Getting a gift for a person is an extremely delicate process, which I will be happy to share here but not today. If you really insist, then just give me the money, at least that’s efficient economically and also maximizes utility….haha

Good, now I sound like I have many, many friends waiting to give me presents and stuffs but on the contrary, not many people know when my birthday is. Probably, in the first place, I didn’t think it was important for them to know anyway.

This year will be a very lonely birthday for me because the one whom I love is away and will not be here with me. This kind of made me feel uneasy and odd as she was here beside me on this day for the past seven years. Thus, I shall occupy my time with my to-do list so that I can avoid this feeling of emptiness.

In the meantime, just to show that I care for myself……

Happy Birthday, Dao!

Under blistering blaze with amazing grace  
Exchanging passes in a familiar phrase
With tender craze and a mesmerized gaze
The moment stood, at the same old place
There was nothing between us

Amongst countless chatter and friendly banter  
Linger thoughts of being closer
With a cautious shudder and a trembling mutter
The question was asked in tatters
But it didn’t matter

There were hugs and there were kisses
Each was sweet with different flavours
Nothing can change my love for you
Even as time passes and flowers wilt
Our love is forever

Whispers of sweet nothings and intimate touches
Sending shivers and tingling sensations  
Wondering thoughts and confused minds
Love was like honey coated with chocolate
There is nothing between us  

In uniform motion and unwavering notion
Fighting those who threatens a cession
Our faith bond our souls with conviction
And hold us close under the oath of love
We are one entity

But I am a heartless man
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
The empty space was never filled
Ever since you stole it then
But today I boldly speak
My heart is yours to keep
  
To the one whom I love on our seventh anniversary of togetherness

Have you guys out there ever run into trouble after looking at other girls in front of your girlfriends? I bet so, because the same happens to me. It’s ok if you are the tactical kind, who is wary enough to notice when she’s attentive and when she isn’t, then you pounce at the right opportunity to let your eyes wonder a bit. It’s definitely not ok if you are the type whose eyes just has to completely scan every single female being that you come across.

First up, I wonder what’s wrong with girls though, it’s normal for guys to look at pretty girls, and it’s probably repeated umpteen times in various writings, formal or informal. But why do our girls still prefer having abnormal boyfriends instead? Seriously, how possible is it that we will ditch you for another girl whom we only had a look at? If the boy really does have a change of heart after just one look, then probably he’s not the guy for you anyway. So what’s the issue? Ok, before I get carried away and face a potential catastrophe with the one whom I love a lot, I better stop here.

So, in regards to this issue, I’m here to share some of my experiences with you guys. It might just save your life, so read on.

The worst thing to ever say when you are caught is, “I wasn’t looking at her.” She knows, (believe me, she really knows), while your eyes were busy scanning, and you thought you had your ass totally covered as she runs through the menu, her tracking device had been activated all along, her eyes never stopped tracking your lines of vision. Once they spot a female species and your line of vision form a perfect straight line, there’s no running away man! She’s sharp, trust me, most of them are, it’s a thing that they have, just like we can drive and they can’t. They are compensated with this deadly skill.

Of course, like all genetic engineering, you do get some off-types, like girls who can drive and can detect or worse, can’t drive and can’t detect! But I guess the best off-types are girls who can drive but can’t detect, imagine being driven around in a nice car and your eyes can romp wherever you want and your girl wouldn’t say a thing because she wouldn’t know?! Shiok!

Anyway, so what’s the best response? Today, I have a classic case. I was stopping in front of a red light and there was a couple walking past in front of the car and I was stealing a look at the girl, who was skimpily dressed, then the one whom I love a lot asked, what are you looking at?

Calmly, I responded, I was looking at the girl. But don’t be upset, I did it for you. You see that guy beside her? I caught him staring at you, I was so pissed that I had to do something to protect you, thus I stared back at his girlfriend and this is what I call an eye for an eye.

On MSN recently after a friend of mine, A, closed his blog.

A: I didn’t know you read my blog.
D: I only started reading it recently.
A: Must be because of you.
D: Yah, I think so too…
D: I think god’s telling me not to waste my time.

I hope that’s not too hard to swallow, A!! haha…..

Today is a very sad day, partly for the fact that it’s Monday, but more importantly, some club got whacked 4-1 and costed the misery of many, many (and I mean really many, many) people. Let me explain this theory more thoroughly…

Firstly, the most sad of the lot has got to be the ones that were directly related to this result, some (the lesser beings) calls them the European champions, I preferred to call them scousers, it’s a more generic term in my part of the world. They always claim that You’d Never Walk Alone, and I really think its so damn true! They have lots of friends man, people like Newcastle, Blackburn, Birmingham and Portsmouth, they are all in the same half of the world as reflected on today’s papers. But these fans are the ‘sadest’ people today. After fighting so hard for a draw in midweek, they end up back at square one at the turn of the week.

The next group of sad people are the fans of some artillery-related club. However, it seems like the hike in oil prices have also affected the prices of gun powder as well. The guns have been shooting blanks recently and it needed the help of an opponent to win their game. Life just isn’t the same without Patrick. And the result of this 4-1 trashing did not do much to alleviate the problem as they now go 11 points behind and still trying to find a cheaper source of gun powder.

Another group of very sad people are the who-win-then-I-support-who-lor fans, these people can turn from half blue/half white to SHARP to Dreamcast to Vodafone to O2 and now to blue. By logical reasons, they should be the happiest people around since whoever they support wins, or rather, whoever wins, they’ll support!! However, today, they are very sad people, too. Instead of winning the Champions League game, the trophy they badly want, they end up winning the League game instead, which they have won in a record margin last term and are still leading by a mile this time round. I mean, this fans will really appreciate it if the results were reversed. Having said that, a bank account like theirs is like having a cheat code in your Football Manager or playing 1-star difficulty on your Winning Eleven, if you still can’t win, my advice is, switch to another game.

Lastly, people like me are also very sad. After a truly magnificent display on Saturday against some minorities, all I can say about the three goals respectively, are (1) clinical finish, (2) precise passing, (3) great vision and all in all, a stroll in the Park. However, the 4-1 result greatly undid all the good work as we fell, temporarily, 10 points behind and with a game in hand.

Thus, everybody is sad today. But here comes the interesting part, if the results were reversed, 4-1 in midweek and 0-0 yesterday. We will have many, many happy people today!! Scousers will be happy to earn a draw (what else do you guys expect anyway?), Gunners and us will be delighted that the gap is closer and the Blues will be happy that they beat the previous champions and can go all the way this time (or so it seems…). This scenario will be ideal for everyone, nobody will be sad. This is what I call the economics of happiness, and the blues have been productively inefficient by thrashing the Scousers yesterday. For the happiness of the greatest number, you got it wrong this time, moron mourinho!